personal

abandon me

Imagine life as you know it. Imagine it with all the physical aspects, with all its intelectual and emotional contents.

Imagine your daily life, your daily goals, your 5 year plans and what you consider the meaning of life.

Imagine it in between the walls of your home, the city in you live in, the country in which you are citizen.

Imagine your family, your friends, your pet, your colleagues and all the people, know and unknown, who you met on your way to your destination.

What would you think, if I would tell you that this life doesn’t exists? That is all just a lie, which we all tell ourselves day by day, as our life goes by. It is all just a coincidence or is it really our fate? To live like this? To meet the humans that we meet? To get touched or to get destroyed? By words or by actions? By words not said or actions not made?

Is it worth it? Why? Why not?

I always thought of life as a mass of great opportunities…Even when it didn’t look

that way. I always thought it can get better. It can be different. But I am not different. We are not different. We are all the same.

The same lie, living our ant-life day by day. Lying to ourselves. Lying to others. We celebrate life and for what? Because we will all die? Because we don’t know what will come next? Because we ignore it?

Of course, life is what you make of it. But what do you make of it? Is it the nature consequence of your choices, or is it more to that? Can you change it in any way? Or you roll between the invisible walls which are the layers of the circumstances? The circumstances with you were born with. The circumstances you didn’t choose. The invisible strings that move you. The lies you tell to yourself and others make you hear them. Are you listening? Is it really like you imagined at the beginning of this writing? Is it really like that? Your life? Or it doesn’t exist, like I told you? Is it maybe, after áll… a long, sweet, good old lie?

Standard

As I was traveling on the clouds of Worakls, I realized that many times I was in somebody else’s story. How did I get there? What am I doing here, participating and noding my head peacefully while somebody else is writing my story? The wrong story. With lies and fake promises.

Dear stranger, thinking that you are a master manipulator and everything is working out as you planned is nothing but also one of your cheap lies. These strangers are cheap people, and you deserve nothing, but each other.

As I was traveling on the clouds of Worakls, I realized that the next decision is slowly showing itself. From this amorphous fluid is contouring something touchable, something sustainable…

Is this what I want? Is this where I am going? I don’t know yet, because I am still on the surface… On the surface of the fluid, swimming, trying not to drown. Because to go the deeper, I will have to hold my breath…To write this story, I will have to go deeper inside. But it will be my story now.

Recently discovered this song and I think the video made for this song is perfectly reflecting it.

As I was first listening to it, I felt instant calmness, somehow it gave me the stillness which I feel, when everything is calm around me.

Watching the video only empowered this feeling… Somehow, if it exists, I can imagine heaven like this. Light and stillness, warm and calmness. It is not a place for me, but a state. A state of mind, a state of soul? Who knows? For me… Going inside, wondering around the maze, in the depth of it… What will I find? What will I feel? What will it be like?

As I listen to this song, I can feel that the closure is getting near… I can almost touch it… This light…Inside…Heaven.